Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele has announced a new effort by the GOP to reach out to young voters across the country using music and video games.
“Obama’s victory proved our long-held belief that young Americans are malleable to brainwashing through the media,” said Steele in a publicity video posted on the YouTube. “We decided that we can play that game too, literally and figuratively.”
On the musical front, the GOP has released a compilation album featuring the musical talents of a number of key Republican figures entitled Grand Old Party – Dangerously Relevant.
“We want to show that we are a big tent party, so despite my love of hip-hop I acquired on the streets, there are jams covering all genres on the album.”
The album kicks off with Michael Steele’s own track, “I Be Da’ Man,” featuring background vocals from media darling Michelle Bachman. The track sounds like a fusion of Usher’s “My Way” era work and Flava Flav’s recent vocal stylings on VH1’s Flava of Love.
GOP heavy hitter Dick Cheney appears on the record with “Terrorists in the Moonlight,” which evokes Ronnie James Dio’s 1983 hit “Rainbow in the Dark.”
Some of the GOP’s rising stars added their own cuts to the record, notably Eric Cantor’s emo-core “I Don’t Care How Good Your Ideas Are, We’re Still Voting No.”
“Originally when Michael asked me to be a part of this project I had wanted to do a song more in the style of Britney Spears, I am such a big fan, but I decided to do a song that really expresses my angst like some of my favorite bands, Fall Out Boy and Brand New” said Cantor.
Rush Limbaugh’s “Jesus, Take the Wheel and Make Obama Fail” is an avant-garde experimental piece that pushes the boundaries of musical artistry.
“I decided to experiment quite a bit with syncopation and micro-tonality to create a ‘sound poetry’ with some very unexpected sound textures. I am sure my ditto-heads will pick up on the Cageian influences,” said Limbaugh.
In addition to the previously mentioned tracks, there are 10 additional songs ranging from classic county to subtle indie rock.
I asked American Idol judges Randy Jackson, Kara DioGuardi, Paula Abdul, and Simon Cowell what they would say to the GOP about the new album.
Randy Jackson: “Yo yo yo, Dog, this record is hot, man. You guys are taking it to the next level for real.”
Kara DioGuardi: “I want to see some more artistry here. Take these songs and own them.”
Paula Abdul: “I just want to say that I really, really, really, love your personality and your melodies and your spirit and you look fabulous.”
Simon Cowell: “This record is complete rubbish. The songs are about as fresh, original, and relevant as your policies. It’s about time you went home.”
The GOP’s venture into the world of video gaming begins with three launch titles: Eric Cantor’s Wall Street Fighter, Christian Nation, and Michael Steele Presents Rap Battle 2010.
In Wall Street Fighter you play the role of populist hero Eric Cantor as you take on investors, CEOs, economists, and greedy poor people in hand-to-hand combat.
Christian Nation is similar to Maxis’s popular Sim City series, where you have to manage the country according to the literal interpretation of the Bible while facing threats from gays, evolution, science, non-believers, global warming (the belief in it, not it itself), and feminists.
Michael Steele Presents Rap Battle 2010 utilizes the Xbox microphone to compete in rap battles online over Xbox Live and with friends in your living room. The single player game lets you take on Stephen Colbert for your final challenge.
“These games are going to have those kids just dying to be GOP, my Rap Battle game be da’ bomb fo’ sho,” said Steele while dancing around his DC office with an Xbox microphone in his hand.
The major cable news outlets have all agreed that this is a brilliant move by the GOP, and CNN is thinking about creating its own series of games in the future.
DNC Chairman Tim Kaine refused to comment when told about the GOP’s new youth outreach efforts, but he was overheard while walking away saying “we are so screwed.”
If it wasn’t obvious enough, April Fools!